Finally a Charlie Broker Script

SCENE 1: SHOWS CHARLIE BEHIND A NEWSWIPE DESK. WARNING RUNS ALONG BOTTOM OF SCREEN READING “GUIDANCE: Some strong language.”
CHARLIE: “Before long a standard news report, visual language, established itself. One that’s immediately recognizable to anyone. Me has this report.”

SCENE 2: WIDE SHOT OF CITY BUILDINGS
CHARLIE: “It starts here with a lackluster establishing shot of a significant location.”

SCENE 3: CHARLIE PACING STEADILY TOWARDS THE LENS ON A BUSY STREET EVENTUALLY COMES TO A STOP.
CHARLIE: “Next a walkie-talkie preamble from the alter pacing steadily towards the lens, punctuating every other sentence with a hand gesture and ignoring all the pricks milling around him like he’s gliding through the fucking matrix, before coming to a halt a posing a question. What comes next?”

SCENE 4: SLOW MOTION SCENE OF PEOPLE CROSSING BRIDGE FADES TO SCENE 5
CHARLIE: "Often something like this...

SCENE 5: DIFFERENT SHOT OF PEOPLE WALKING FADES TO SCENE 6.
CHARLIE: "A fellow shot designed to give your eyes something to look at while my voice.."

SCENE 6: THIRD SHOT OF PEOPLE CROSSING THE BRIDGE. SHOT SLOWS DOWN TO A HALT, TURNS BLACK AND WHITE. TITLE: FACTS SLIDES IN FOLLOWED BY THREE BULLET POINTS READING “APPEAR” “ONE BY ONE” “ON THE SCREEN.” THESE LINE UP WITH CHARLIE BROOKERS VOICE RESPECTIVELY.
CHARLIE:"...babbles on about facts. Sometimes it will slow down to a halt, turn monochrome, and some of those facts will appear one by one on the screen.“

SCENE 7: Cut to 5 different one second shots of over-weight people with their heads cut out of the frame, with a blur effect between each shot. SFX: Sounds of the street.
CHARLIE: "This is followed by the obligatory shots of overweight people with their faces subtly framed out, after which the report is padded out with a selection of lazy and pointless Vox Pops.”

SCENE 8: CLOSE UP ON MANS FACE ON THE STREET.
MAN: “Eh, usually get some inane chatter from people.”

SCENE 9: CUT TO CLOSE UP OF WOMAN’S FACE ON STREET.
WOMAN: “Think they do have too much. I think what we want to hear is actually what’s happening and not what other people think about it.”

SCENE 10: CUT TO CLOSE UP ON OLD MAN’S FACE ON STREET.
OLD MAN: *Babbling* “I hate these sound bites. I don’t want some fhajkf ’s opinion, no.“
SCENE 11: CUT TO THREE DIFFERENT 2 SECOND CLIPS OF TIME LAPSED SHOTS OF PEOPLE WALKING AROUND ON THE STREETS.
CHARLIE: "Another bit of dull visual abstraction to plug another gap now before the report segways gracefully into a bit of human interest..."

SCENE 12: CUT TO MAN SITTING AT KITCHEN TABLE OPENING MAIL.
CHARLIE: "...courtesy of some dowdy man opening letters in a kitchen and explaining how he’s been effected by the issue.”

SCENE 13: CUT TO CLOSE UP ON DOWDY MAN’S FACE, STILL SITTING AT KITCHEN TABLE. ACROSS BOTTOM OF SCREEN READS DOWDY KITCHEN MAN
DOWDY MAN: “When I’m watching the news, I don’t really, you know, there’s a person talking to me telling me what’s going on and I don’t really listen to what they’re saying. It’s just news, it’s just news.”

SCENE 14: SHOW ANIMATED CHART, CUT TO SILLHOUETTE OF AN AVERAGE FAMILY, CUT TO CARTOON OF LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER BEING BEHEADED BY A LASER BEAM. SFX: Laser beam sound.
CHARLIE: “He unfortunately was boring so to wake you up this is an animated chart, this is a silhouette representing the average family, and this is a lighthouse keeper being beheaded by a laser beam.”


SCENE 15: CUT TO THREE DIFFERENT 1 SECOND SHOTS OF PEDESTRIANS WALKING. CUT TO SHOT OF STREET SIGN. CUT TO SHOT OF PIPE COMING OUT OF A WINDOW. SFX: Ambience of city streets.
CHARLIE: “As we near the end of the report illustrative shots of pedestrians, and signs, and a pipe at a window.”

SCENE 16: CLOSE UP ON CHARLIE STANDING ON A BUSY STREET. PAN UP AND OVER TO SEE A STREET SIGN READING REGENT STREET
CHARLIE: “And then the final summary ending on a whimsical shot of something nearby accompanied by a wry sign off. If you’re lucky a bit of word play fit for a king, or in other words a Regent’s treat. Charlie Brooker, Newswipe, London.”